My Five (So Far) Phases of Christmas

When I was much younger, I would notice that every year around Christmas time, my mother-in-law Priscilla would get, not quite melancholy, but pensive. When I would ask her about it she would just say that she was thinking about Christmases past. I never really understood it then, but I think I do now.

I was thinking, today, about all of the different Christmas seasons that I have had in my lifetime.

I think it started because we got a new, smaller tree this year. I have to transfer all of my ornaments onto this tree and I am thinking that I will not be able to fit all of them. We have some ornaments that go way back to Paul's grandparents' ornaments, ornaments that Paul bought at Rocky's (where he worked while he was in college) our first married Christmas, ornaments that the kids made for us and gave us over the years, some that I made in my craft years (that didn't last long), and now ornaments that we exchange every year with the family by picking names. In 1996 we went from a big tree to a table top tree. I tried to pick our favorite ornaments of every different type. We also have boxes of Christmas ornaments and decorations that we don't use anymore. It seems each year I put up less and less.

It came to me that I have had five phases of Christmas, so far.

Phase One is Christmases of my childhood. Most years it was at our house with everyone coming for the day, and my cousins coming for a few days. Sometimes we would go to wherever my Uncle Bob was pastoring.


1956

1957

1958

1965

1966

Phase Two was when I started dating Paul and our first couple of years together without children. Christmas was very romantic at that time. We were starting to gather our own Christmas decorations and traditions.



1967

1970 - Paul and my first married Christmas tree

1971

Phase Three was when we had little children. This was an exciting time - dressing them up and bringing them to church festivities and having them excited about Santa. We were still going to our families' houses for Christmas, and also traveling to Paul's aunts and uncles' homes, and also his Grandmother's family in the Boston area.



1974

1975

1976

Phase Four was when we started having Christmas at our house (I'm not positive but some time in the late 70's) and all that that entails - getting the house decorated, Christmas shopping for the kids for ourselves and also our families (they never knew what to buy the kids; it was just easier for me to do it), having dinner at our house, and then still visiting relatives on different days. It was a busy time, but I loved it. This phase also included having married children and grandchildren. Everyone still came for dinner; the house was still fully decorated even though we went to a smaller tree.



1979

1987

1992 Our $5 cut tree from someone's front yard

1992 What the tree looked like decorated - it was huge!

1994 Another $5 cut tree from the same yard

2004

2005

2005

2005

2007

2010

2011

Now, I feel like I am in Phase Five. Most of the older generation is gone, except for Paul's dad, and my aunt Dot. Mark and Janelle have taken over the holidays, for which I am grateful. They bought a house in the beginning of November 2012. I had Thanksgiving at my house that year, but then my Dad died in December, and they had Christmas at their house. Janelle's parents had been joining us for Christmas for quite a few years, and Stacia and I do a lot of the cooking but I don't have the meal and the opening of presents at my house anymore.



2012

Mark and Janelle's tree

2013

2014 Holiday Brunch at Dot's nursing home

This is my cousin Lynda and her husband Ray at their home in Delaware

2015

I haven't decorated my smaller tree yet this year, so I don't have any pictures.

This is the first year that I haven't had my aunt Dot over for the holidays. It is just too confusing for her (and truth be told, for us too). This Thanksgiving we had her over the next Sunday with the family, and this seemed to work out really well. I plan to do that for Christmas too.

A lot of these phases have overlapped at certain times, but I see a pattern here. I totally understand now what my mother-in-law was feeling. Christmas is still wonderful no matter what phase you are in, just different. The key is to remember past Christmases but still enjoy the present one.